Zoo, the Series

Could there be a better subject for cinematography than nature? From the minutest amoebic pseudopodia to the vastness of the galactic night, nothing is more photogenic than unmanufactured nature. National Geo, PBS Nature, David Attenborough, these are the purveyors of such fare these days. Heroes. They take us to places that 99% of us will never get to see.

The sights are dazzling, shocking, beautiful, ephemeral, and infinite. I love it. Especially the animals.

But the Newly-Minted (as in newly-minted boyfriend) likes action films.

How will domestic bliss ever be attained with the two tastes at such odds?

The answer? The series from 2015 called Zoo. An apparent compromise. It has the implausibility of the action series combined with lions and leopards and alligators and birds and…

Yuck.

It’s probably a great series, but I’m not in a position to judge. I’m not big on series because they all seem to devolve into soap opera sometime during the first or second season. I prefer my stories to have a beginning, a middle, and an end tied up in a two-hour wrapper.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve made it through a few series: Lost, The Wire, The Fall. But I drop off most series long before the resolution in season 5 or beyond. I made it through two seasons of Orange is the New Black and Mad Men. House of Cards: one and half. Sopranos got half an episode. I got bored. Seriously. 

At any rate, I think the Newly-Minted and I are going to need a different compromise because Zoo ain’t it. I can best describe the thing as a zombie film with wild animals standing in for the living dead. Same horrific scenes of graphic body mutilation; same chase scenes; same running around for a scientific solution. Standard us against them plot. 

I watched for a couple of episodes. In the middle of a real-life pandemic it’s wearisome to watch an implausible yet somewhat related story line about a virus or some such. I’m sure under better circumstances I could get into this faux-scientific show. I have a degree in chemistry. Under normal circumstances I’d be into a test tubular fairy tale. Right now, not so much.

In the weeks to come I imagine the newly-minted and I will be switching between something like the Die Hard franchise and something like Blue Planet I and II. That might be the best compromise at the mo’. 

— Sue Lange/Producer, LE BON CHEF